Why would I want to be #DramaFree?
Do you often find yourself involved in low-level conflict that keeps repeating itself? Does it take up your time and energy, and would you rather have less of it?
Think of a couple of times when you weren't getting what you wanted. What do you do when that happens? Many of us tend to act up in some way or other – whether it’s to become snarky, or passive-aggressive, or play victim.
Any human interaction holds the possibility of conflict and in Systemic Modelling, we call this kind of low-level conflict 'drama'.
One of the key benefits of learning Clean Language and Systemic Modelling is learning how to detect drama in ourselves and others, and then to do to something about it. At Clean Learning, we offer workshops that will give you the tools and models to do that.
If you've been thinking about joining us for Creating #DramaFree Conversations, here are some questions you may have about signing up.
Q: I think being #DramaFree would be boring. Why would we want to take the passion out of our lives?
We’re not saying it’s not crucial to have passion and strong emotions. Being in drama tells us what’s important to us – it lets us know when something is not good enough or right for us. It’s certainly important to have these emotions.
The idea behind #DramaFree is:
- Noticing what it is that has triggered the drama in us, and then
- Knowing what we could do about it so that we get what we want instead.
Q: What’s the point of learning more ideas when it won’t change the people in charge?
That's an important point. We recommend you don't attempt this on your own if there isn’t support in your community or organisation for new ways of thinking and new behaviours. Find another two or three colleagues who are interested in learning and applying this together with you. That way, you'll have the minimum support you’ll need to see what difference these ideas make.
Q: Why should I learn these #DramaFree techniques when I’m not the problem?
That’s a fair question. These techniques are not for changing other people - and we don’t promise that if you use them, they will make the source of the problem go away.
What learning #DramaFree techniques will give you is self-awareness about what you want and don’t want in your relationships along with more flexibility in terms of responding to others when there’s drama.
Then they can be in drama but you won’t need to be dragged into it. What we have noticed is that often, when one person in a system shifts, the dynamics shifts as well.
Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash
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About Jacqueline Ann Surin
Jacqueline Ann Surin is a Level 1 Clean Facilitator, the first Master Level Systemic Modeller in Asia, and is qualified as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) with the ICF. She is an associate of Clean Learning and Training Attention in the UK, and a specialist-partner of the Singapore-based BeInClarity. She was previously an award-winning journalist and has a published chapter in Clean Language Interviewing: Principles and applications for researchers and practitioners.
She can be found on LinkedIn.
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