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How to Turn Your Life into a #DramaFree Zone [2]

14th Oct 2024 by Jonathan Way in #DramaFree

We launched our So you want to be ... #DramaFree journal in 2018 and as a result, these skills have been used in Japan, the USA, Europe and Malaysia. They been taken up by parents, teachers, community leaders, business managers, company owners and anywhere that people wanted to reduce unnecessary drama in their relationships. We already have a blog post covering: how to detect drama (#DramaFree skill 1) and knowing who is in what drama role (#DramaFree skill 2).

Now we are resuming this series and, in this post, we discuss drama triggers - the situations that tip you into drama (#DramaFree skill 3). Check back with the original blog post if you want to catch up from the start.

Identifying and Acknowledging Your Drama Triggers

Everyone has situations that can push them into conflict or emotional drama and recognising these triggers is an essential first step to breaking the drama cycle and staying calm.

Here are a few common examples of drama triggers:

Feeling hungry
A neighbour mowing their lawn early in the morning.
Being asked to stay late at work unexpectedly.

Not All Triggers Are Equal

Not all drama triggers affect the same people in the same way. One person may even be triggered very differently depending on what else is happening or who is doing the triggering.

One thing that can affect whether we react in drama is whether something is conflicting with a value we hold strongly.

Take a moment to reflect on some of your drama triggers. What are some situations that have triggered you into drama recently? Can you identify which values (things like thoughtfulness, fairness, freedom) might be in conflict?

For example, if you value thoughtfulness more than freedom, a neighbour mowing their lawn early might trigger you because it feels inconsiderate. On the other hand, if freedom is a higher value for you, you may find this a minor annoyance or not be bothered at all.

Another area that can affect whether or not we react in drama can be how we are wired. For example, if you are particularly sound sensitive you may react more strongly to the lawn mower than someone who can tune it out. If you are time sensitive being asked to change your schedule can be a bigger problem than for those for whom time is more bendy.

Getting to the Core of Your Drama

Consider a time recently when you’ve gone into a drama state. Write down what happened. Now take a few moments to consider what was contributing to that drama? Were any of your values being violated? Was anything upsetting your processing? What was it that may have been contributing to you going drama? Then, having considered your drama triggers, write down what you know now about that drama. And then you can think... What would I like to have happen next? Do you want to give someone feedback, ask them some questions or take an action?

#DramaFree Conversations: Learn New Skills for Managing Conflict

Are you struggling with constant stress, frustration, or conflict in your relationships? Do you want to learn new skills to make your life more #DramaFree?

Joining a #DramaFree Conversations workshop can help you move from chaos to calm collaboration, whether at home, work, or in your community.

Over 4 x 1/2-day online sessions you will learn tools and strategies to help you:

Identify and unpack your drama situations.
Separate facts from assumptions.
Shift your focus toward practical solutions and actions you’re proud of.

Caitlin Walker has been helping people deal with dramas and conflicts for more than 20 years and will guide you through:

Detecting drama and its impact.
Separating your drama into evidence, inference and impact.
Using clean questions to clarify what’s happening and explore next steps.

Limited spots are available for our November training, with hands-on practice and feedback. Plus, get a free PDF copy of our #DramaFree journal.

Related courses

Creating #DramaFree Conversations

About Jonathan Way

Jonathan has been studying and using Clean Language for over a decade. As a primary school teacher, he has successfully integrated clean questions and #DramaFree tools with children aged 5 to 7. Passionate about languages, he has also co-led our “Learning Languages at Your Best” course. Currently, he is working towards his ACC accreditation with the International Coaching Federation (ICF).

How to Turn Your Life into a #DramaFree Zone [2]

Identifying and Acknowledging Your Drama Triggers

Not All Triggers Are Equal

Getting to the Core of Your Drama

#DramaFree Conversations: Learn New Skills for Managing Conflict

Related blog posts

How to Turn Your Life into a #DramaFree Zone [1]

#DramaFree Goes to Church

Building a #DramaFree Community

Why would I want to be #DramaFree?

Related courses

About Jonathan Way