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Why would I want to be #DramaFree?

Why would I want to be drama free

Do you often find yourself involved in low-level conflict that keeps repeating itself? Does it take up your time and energy, and would you rather have less of it?

Think of a couple of times when you weren't getting what you wanted. What do you do when that happens? Many of us tend to act up in some way or other – whether it’s to become snarky, or passive-aggressive, or play victim. 

Any human interaction holds the possibility of conflict and in Systemic Modelling, we call this kind of low-level conflict 'drama'.

One of the key benefits of learning Clean Language and Systemic Modelling is learning how to detect drama in ourselves and others, and then to do to something about it. At Clean Learning, we offer workshops that will give you the tools and models to do that.

If you've been thinking about joining us for Creating #DramaFree Conversations, here are some questions you may have about signing up.

Q: I think being #DramaFree would be boring. Why would we want to take the passion out of our lives?

We’re not saying it’s not crucial to have passion and strong emotions. Being in drama tells us what’s important to us – it lets us know when something is not good enough or right for us. It’s certainly important to have these emotions.

The idea behind #DramaFree is:

  1. Noticing what it is that has triggered the drama in us, and then
  2. Knowing what we could do about it so that we get what we want instead.

Q: What’s the point of learning more ideas when it won’t change the people in charge?

That's an important point. We recommend you don't attempt this on your own if there isn’t support in your community or organisation for new ways of thinking and new behaviours. Find another two or three colleagues who are interested in learning and applying this together with you. That way, you'll have the minimum support you’ll need to see what difference these ideas make.

Q: Why should I learn these #DramaFree techniques when I’m not the problem?

That’s a fair question. These techniques are not for changing other people - and we don’t promise that if you use them, they will make the source of the problem go away.

What learning #DramaFree techniques will give you is self-awareness about what you want and don’t want in your relationships along with more flexibility in terms of responding to others when there’s drama.

Then they can be in drama but you won’t need to be dragged into it.  What we have noticed is that often, when one person in a system shifts, the dynamics shifts as well.

Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash


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About Jacqueline Ann Surin

Jacqueline Ann Surin's avatar

Jacqueline coaches individuals and organisations internationally to manage relationships without drama and to harness the positives in conflict. She also facilitates companies to build trust remotely so as to improve efficiency, productivity and performance.

A communications expert with more than 25 years’ experience, she is one of the leading Clean Language specialists in Asia, and is both an online and in-person facilitator and coach.

She is a Level 1 Clean Facilitator, and the first certified Level 2 Systemic Modeller for group facilitation and organisational coaching in Asia. She has a Level 5 certification in coaching and mentoring from the ILM. She is also a certified NLP practitioner.

She is a specialist partner of the Singapore-based consultancy, BeInClarity, for whom she delivers several Clean Language solutions for individuals, organisations and companies.

She is also the Southeast Asian associate of Training Attention in the UK, and Change 3.0 in the Netherlands. She has worked in Indonesia, Singapore, Thailand, Malaysia, the UK and Lebanon.

She has blogged for the Association for Coaching in the UK, and continues to contribute to the development of Clean Language and its applications through her writing at the Training Attention, Clean Learning and Clean Collection websites.


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