In her book, From Contempt to Curiosity, Caitlin talks about visiting her grandmother's Unitarian Universalist church as a child. One of her key learnings at this time was to consider who was in her 'in' group and who was in her 'out' group - and then to consider, "What do you need to do in your heart to find people in your 'out' group and move them into your 'in' group?" From here was born the idea of taking those who you were holding in contempt, getting curious about them and even moving towards collaboration.
35 years later, Caitlin was given the opportunity to take her work back to the very same church with an evening of how to create #DramaFree conversations. This is particularly important in a country that is currently so divided by politics and where families and neighbours from different sides of the fence are unable to talk to one another respectfully.
The event was organised by Brian Dooley and when a senior member of the local law enforcement team tweeted about how he needed to clean up the scourge and vermin of the city and get them off the streets, Brian wrote to the head of law enforcement and invited them to the event. He said he wanted officers to consider how they could take a more #DramaFree approach to working in the community. One officer attended, took part in all the activities and has taken some #DramaFree ideas back to work with him.
During the evening there was a discussion about different types of drama, including:
- A specific incidence of drama that's happening right now.
- Our general experience of the world (e.g. our schools are terrible, you can't trust the police.
- Being held in contempt by someone else about something you can't update them about - e.g. if they are in drama with you for something you did when you were five years old and that you can't recall.
- An incident in your past that causes you to be in drama with yourself - e.g. abuse that colours your whole life.